Well today was a major achievement for me. I decided to stop sitting around feeling sorry for myself while Tomás was at work and walked over to the doctors surgery. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a HUGE fear of failure complex... I avoid situations where there is even the smallest chance of failure and/or subsequent embarrasement etc etc...And as you can imagine, this has resulted in a pretty reclusive and dependent lifestyle. I would only go somewhere if I had Tomás or a friend with me to do all the talking! Pretty sad I know. But seriously, I have had such a huge fear of making a twat of myself! And when I do something wrong or fail or am embarrassed, I go a really deep shade of scarlet red... it´s hard to hide and then it makes me feel like a 5 year.. not excatly good for my "Grown up English teacher" personna I have been trying to carve for myself!!!
Well, anyway, I´ve been feeling a tad shitty for almost 4 weeks... I put it down to job stress and my pretty pathetic immune system, but then recently I was starting to wonder if I had an allergy to Mika.. I have had itchy eyes, coughing, sneezing really hard, headaches... so anyway today was the last straw... I just had to go down there!! And I´m going to be honest... I was really nervous!! So stupid I know... but my biggest worry was not understanding what anyone would say back to me and standing there like a moron not knowing what to do. And really, this worry has been completely irrational.. I know.. I have taken lots of tests in Portuguese, so I know my level of understanding is good, but it´s been hard to convince myself mentally. Again, my mind has got in the way of my success in life!
And how did it go? Surprisingly well!! I had to speak to two women at reception and I just went with the flow, asking if it was possible to see a doctor. I then chatted to them about England, being an English teacher, etc etc and they told me I spoke excellently and shouldn´t be so shy. I was so surprised that I understood everything they said! And I was automatically thinking and answering in Portuguese. I´m so happy with my progress because I´ve never had lessons. Everything I´ve learnt has been through reading books, talking to Portuguese people and watching TV. And today showed me that I´ve absorbed more than I knew I had! Even the doctor told me she was very impressed as many foreigners just refuse to try and learn the language and speak in English to her.
So you can imagine me after that... I was on a bloody high!! I was like, fuck yeah! I can anything now! lool. So what did I do?? I went straight home, got Mika and took her to the Park hoping to see other dog owners to talk to!!! But to my dismay, no one was there! sniff sniff :( ah well, tomorrow I´ll go again!! And now I have no excuses about doing things myself here in Portugal.. I CAN speak Portuguese! I just have to do it! No excuses! Hmm maybe that should be my next tattoo! Lol. :)
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Saturday, 26 November 2011
A vida em Portugal (Life in Portugal)
So it´s been almost 1 year since I decided to uproot myself from sleepy Hoddesdon and enter the unknown here in Portugal. And there´s been some amazing highs, but also some pretty shit lows. But that´s the rollercoaster of life I guess. It´s never plain sailing! But all in all, I love living here and I´m so glad I took a risk.
Although my job situation has been a little shaky, things are getting a bit better. I really enjoy teaching and find it so rewarding to see my students improving and having fun learning. I would have never seen myself as an English Teacher but I think it´s something that works well with my personality and my strengths. Travelling around alot can be tiresome, but I just sometimes remind myself to stop and look at where I am. I´m working in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, right by the sea, in the sunshine...
Now, I just make sure I have my camera with me so I can capture some of the amazing things I see! And believe me, I see some seriously silly things sometimes...like today... I was waiting for my boat in Cais do Sodré to go back home and was doing my usual "people watching" (sunglasses work very well in this situation to disguise my nosey glare!) when I spotted such a cute old couple. And when I say old, I mean old.. think like 80 odd. And I had to smile to myself because the old guy, bless him, had bright white converse trainers on, tight blue jeans, a bomber jacket and ray bans... but not only did he look like a Marty Mc Fly wannabe, but he was acting like a teenager poking his wife trying to annoy her! She on the other hand was just ignoring him and looking pretty pissed off so to win her back over he started bear hugging her and messing up her hair...well that didn´t go down well and she started giving him THE LOOK. You know, the silent signal that all women give their boyfriends or husbands, that if they don´t stop what they are doing immediately, there will be consequences?! Well, he was totally oblivious to it and just tried to kiss her like a love sick puppy... so damn cute!! In the end he won her over and I just thought to myself, awww, I hope Tomás will be half as cool and cute as that old guy when he´s 80.. I know for sure I´ll still be as grumpy as the old woman!!! ;-) hahaa..
One thing that I also like to do in conjunction with people watching (they go hand in hand..) is comparing cultures... Sometimes I really do find it amazing the differences between British and Portuguese cultures... From the level of tactileness and what is deemed okay/inappropriate etc etc. And more often than not, us British lot come off the worse of the two! For example, I just DIE inside whenever I am walking around touristy parts of Lisbon. For example, yesterday Tomás and I went to Belém which is a wonderful place and where I´m going to start swimming (but more on that later) and we decided to have lunch at one of our favourite cafés. Because we had Mika with us, we had to sit outside - which wasn´t bad because the sun was shining and it was actually quite hot.. and I saw a group of young English tourists... Oh. My. God. Not only where they horrifically LOUD, but they were walking around showing much more flesh then was necessary. God.. I sound like an old woman.. but seriously.. I don´t need to see someone´s fat hanging out (and over) micro skinny shorts... I mean, that´s just horrific. Especially when you´re trying to eat. Some people just have no shame! Just because it was 17 degrees, does not give you the green light to bascially walk around in your underwear... are you a model? NO. are you at the beach? NO. are you skinny? NO. So... for the love of god, please don´t wear tiny tiny shorts! Yuck! What made things worse was that it wasn´t just one girl, there was a whole flock of these tourists shouting and stomping around like elephants. I mean, where´s your class?! I was so horrified that I kept my voice low and talked to Tomás in portuguese so that I wouldn´t be associated with those morons of society.. I felt equally embarrased as there was a emaculately dressed portuguese woman about my age sitting on the table next to me, all very Audry Hepburn-esq - wonderfully painted red nails, oversized sunglasses, cigarette in her hand, gorgeous hair and dress, just looking at them with complete distain... And it´s such a shame, because these girls (and guys) give us such a bad name. Not all English people are like that!!! lol.
Anyway, I guess I´m kinda lucky that I´m able to absorb accents... It´s hard for people here to guess where I´m from! :D I don´t know where it stems from...it´s become completely subconscious and I´m not aware I´m doing it! Tomás tells me that I sound completely different when I´m talking to my Mum on the phone. And I quote "you become OH so English!"... lol. Although it´s kinda a weird talent (if you can call it that), it´s helped me become much more profiecient in Portuguese... Combined with my aptitude for languages, I can almost blend in here... well..almost..my blue eyes and white skin do kinda give me away a bit hahaha. But I do like to confuse people. Like tonight.. I was walking Mika to the park to play (which by the way, I have to address in another blog!) when I passed some German girls. One girl came bounding up to me shouting "Do you speak English?!". To which I replied "of course, how can I help?". She preceeded to ask me how to find bus stop 152.. to which I just looked at her like ERRR.. no idea! Although I live here, I don´t get the bus! So anyway, I just pointed them in the direction of all the bus stops and as she was thanking me, she said "It´s amazing...! You speak English SO well!!"... That took awhile to register in my head, but she obviously thought I was Portuguese... so either A) my accent when speaking English now sounds Portuguese, B) My English is actually really bad that even a foreigner doesn´t realise I´m actually English or C) She just assumed I was Portuguese as I had a dog and was living in a non-tourist area... I hope it´s option C)!!! hahaa.
So anyway, where was I? Hmm.. oh, yeah, differences of cultures (and mistaken idendity). When I finally got on the boat home I took my customary seat by the window so I can stare out at the water. I took out my phone to text Tomás all stupid and giggly "On the boat!! :) xxxx" when I noticed that someone was trying to talk to me! Normally, I have a filter where any noise just washes over me... but this was persitent and I could faintly smell whisky breath...I looked up from behind my sunglasses and saw a guy with Lenny Kravitz hair trying to get my attention. His words were: "Ei! Fofa! Olha! Fofa! Manda-me uma mensagem!!" Which basically means, "hey cutie, hey! Send me a message!". With this kind of annoying behaviour, I just normally ignore it...and I thought I had been successful because after a few minutes he walked away and I thought, thank fuck...dodged that crazy bullet. Then as the boat was docking, I went downstairs to the exit waiting for the boat to stop and he was there. Damn it .. I thought, hoping he wouldn´t notice me..but ohhhh no, he did! Anyway, he started again to try and get my attention and I decided to just reply with the bog standard : "Não falo português"... I don´t speak portuguese. To which he just said "Falas, falas".. You speak, you speak! Lol.. damn it. So anyway, he was asking me in Portuguese, where are you from, whats your name... Diz-me o teu nome fofinha, diz lá!!! I was like, Nope..nope.. and he started guessing...Sofia?? Patrícia?? Ohhh how I was wanting to just say, look, dude, fuck off. But, I had the feeling he was harmless and just drunk, so I just played along until the boat stopped and we got off. He tried again to follow me, blowing kisses at me etc but luckily for me, Tomás came to pick me up with Mika and the drunkard soon left me alone. Anyway, this has happened to me a few times which I find hilarious and also strange.. Very rarely in England would I come across this behaviour, but then I didn´t live in London, so maybe its common in cities..or maybe it´s just the Portuguese men...I dunno. But again..differences in cultures interests me and as always, I´m comparing and analysising! The psychologist in me just won´t die!!
Well, I´ve been wittering on for ages now. And I still have more to write, but that´s for tomorrow! If I haven´t bored you, I hope I´ve amused you and given you a little insight into my life in Portugal!
Although my job situation has been a little shaky, things are getting a bit better. I really enjoy teaching and find it so rewarding to see my students improving and having fun learning. I would have never seen myself as an English Teacher but I think it´s something that works well with my personality and my strengths. Travelling around alot can be tiresome, but I just sometimes remind myself to stop and look at where I am. I´m working in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, right by the sea, in the sunshine...
Now, I just make sure I have my camera with me so I can capture some of the amazing things I see! And believe me, I see some seriously silly things sometimes...like today... I was waiting for my boat in Cais do Sodré to go back home and was doing my usual "people watching" (sunglasses work very well in this situation to disguise my nosey glare!) when I spotted such a cute old couple. And when I say old, I mean old.. think like 80 odd. And I had to smile to myself because the old guy, bless him, had bright white converse trainers on, tight blue jeans, a bomber jacket and ray bans... but not only did he look like a Marty Mc Fly wannabe, but he was acting like a teenager poking his wife trying to annoy her! She on the other hand was just ignoring him and looking pretty pissed off so to win her back over he started bear hugging her and messing up her hair...well that didn´t go down well and she started giving him THE LOOK. You know, the silent signal that all women give their boyfriends or husbands, that if they don´t stop what they are doing immediately, there will be consequences?! Well, he was totally oblivious to it and just tried to kiss her like a love sick puppy... so damn cute!! In the end he won her over and I just thought to myself, awww, I hope Tomás will be half as cool and cute as that old guy when he´s 80.. I know for sure I´ll still be as grumpy as the old woman!!! ;-) hahaa..
One thing that I also like to do in conjunction with people watching (they go hand in hand..) is comparing cultures... Sometimes I really do find it amazing the differences between British and Portuguese cultures... From the level of tactileness and what is deemed okay/inappropriate etc etc. And more often than not, us British lot come off the worse of the two! For example, I just DIE inside whenever I am walking around touristy parts of Lisbon. For example, yesterday Tomás and I went to Belém which is a wonderful place and where I´m going to start swimming (but more on that later) and we decided to have lunch at one of our favourite cafés. Because we had Mika with us, we had to sit outside - which wasn´t bad because the sun was shining and it was actually quite hot.. and I saw a group of young English tourists... Oh. My. God. Not only where they horrifically LOUD, but they were walking around showing much more flesh then was necessary. God.. I sound like an old woman.. but seriously.. I don´t need to see someone´s fat hanging out (and over) micro skinny shorts... I mean, that´s just horrific. Especially when you´re trying to eat. Some people just have no shame! Just because it was 17 degrees, does not give you the green light to bascially walk around in your underwear... are you a model? NO. are you at the beach? NO. are you skinny? NO. So... for the love of god, please don´t wear tiny tiny shorts! Yuck! What made things worse was that it wasn´t just one girl, there was a whole flock of these tourists shouting and stomping around like elephants. I mean, where´s your class?! I was so horrified that I kept my voice low and talked to Tomás in portuguese so that I wouldn´t be associated with those morons of society.. I felt equally embarrased as there was a emaculately dressed portuguese woman about my age sitting on the table next to me, all very Audry Hepburn-esq - wonderfully painted red nails, oversized sunglasses, cigarette in her hand, gorgeous hair and dress, just looking at them with complete distain... And it´s such a shame, because these girls (and guys) give us such a bad name. Not all English people are like that!!! lol.
Anyway, I guess I´m kinda lucky that I´m able to absorb accents... It´s hard for people here to guess where I´m from! :D I don´t know where it stems from...it´s become completely subconscious and I´m not aware I´m doing it! Tomás tells me that I sound completely different when I´m talking to my Mum on the phone. And I quote "you become OH so English!"... lol. Although it´s kinda a weird talent (if you can call it that), it´s helped me become much more profiecient in Portuguese... Combined with my aptitude for languages, I can almost blend in here... well..almost..my blue eyes and white skin do kinda give me away a bit hahaha. But I do like to confuse people. Like tonight.. I was walking Mika to the park to play (which by the way, I have to address in another blog!) when I passed some German girls. One girl came bounding up to me shouting "Do you speak English?!". To which I replied "of course, how can I help?". She preceeded to ask me how to find bus stop 152.. to which I just looked at her like ERRR.. no idea! Although I live here, I don´t get the bus! So anyway, I just pointed them in the direction of all the bus stops and as she was thanking me, she said "It´s amazing...! You speak English SO well!!"... That took awhile to register in my head, but she obviously thought I was Portuguese... so either A) my accent when speaking English now sounds Portuguese, B) My English is actually really bad that even a foreigner doesn´t realise I´m actually English or C) She just assumed I was Portuguese as I had a dog and was living in a non-tourist area... I hope it´s option C)!!! hahaa.
So anyway, where was I? Hmm.. oh, yeah, differences of cultures (and mistaken idendity). When I finally got on the boat home I took my customary seat by the window so I can stare out at the water. I took out my phone to text Tomás all stupid and giggly "On the boat!! :) xxxx" when I noticed that someone was trying to talk to me! Normally, I have a filter where any noise just washes over me... but this was persitent and I could faintly smell whisky breath...I looked up from behind my sunglasses and saw a guy with Lenny Kravitz hair trying to get my attention. His words were: "Ei! Fofa! Olha! Fofa! Manda-me uma mensagem!!" Which basically means, "hey cutie, hey! Send me a message!". With this kind of annoying behaviour, I just normally ignore it...and I thought I had been successful because after a few minutes he walked away and I thought, thank fuck...dodged that crazy bullet. Then as the boat was docking, I went downstairs to the exit waiting for the boat to stop and he was there. Damn it .. I thought, hoping he wouldn´t notice me..but ohhhh no, he did! Anyway, he started again to try and get my attention and I decided to just reply with the bog standard : "Não falo português"... I don´t speak portuguese. To which he just said "Falas, falas".. You speak, you speak! Lol.. damn it. So anyway, he was asking me in Portuguese, where are you from, whats your name... Diz-me o teu nome fofinha, diz lá!!! I was like, Nope..nope.. and he started guessing...Sofia?? Patrícia?? Ohhh how I was wanting to just say, look, dude, fuck off. But, I had the feeling he was harmless and just drunk, so I just played along until the boat stopped and we got off. He tried again to follow me, blowing kisses at me etc but luckily for me, Tomás came to pick me up with Mika and the drunkard soon left me alone. Anyway, this has happened to me a few times which I find hilarious and also strange.. Very rarely in England would I come across this behaviour, but then I didn´t live in London, so maybe its common in cities..or maybe it´s just the Portuguese men...I dunno. But again..differences in cultures interests me and as always, I´m comparing and analysising! The psychologist in me just won´t die!!
Well, I´ve been wittering on for ages now. And I still have more to write, but that´s for tomorrow! If I haven´t bored you, I hope I´ve amused you and given you a little insight into my life in Portugal!
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