The grass is always greener on the other side?

Being the over analytical person that I am, I find myself pondering this saying. And I used to think it was true... I think it´s human nature to always want what we don´t have. For some reason we seemed programmed to never be content with what we have....blondes want to be brunettes, brunettes want to be blondes, athletes want to be normal, normal people want to be athletes, those with the perfect partner find themselves wanting someone else...okay okay, I am completely over generalising...but I do know that these thoughts are highly common. In our world of over sexualisation, materialism, and "life is too shor"t analogies, we can find ourselves questioning if we are really happy...would I be happier with whiter teeth, would I be happier if I had a partner who washed the dishes, would I be happier if I travelled...blah blah blah...and sometimes I just sit there thinking, people should try to be happier with what they have. Of course it´s wonderful to have ambition, hopes, dreams...but we don´t need to be in a rush to fulfil them... we don´t need to have the latest gadget, we don´t need to have travelled the world before we are 29...what we NEED to do is remember the important things in life...our family, our friends...the ones we hold dearest in our lives...those who remain there throughout our ups and downs, throughout our crazy thoughts, throughout our hopes and desires... because...at the end of the day...does travelling the world really mean anything if you have no one to share it with? Our obsessions can consume us, and we can lose the paitence of those closest to us, because even the most caring loved one can grow tired of being ignored or overlooked. You could spend years focusing on all the tiny "bad" points in a partner and push them away, when in fact they were your soulmate and you were just looking for something that doesnt exist...because remember...perfection does not exist. We all have flaws..that´s what makes us human...but those who really love you, see those flaws as special entities...for example Tomás always laughs at me when I am "mad" at him for no real reason..because I make ridiculous statements in the heat of the moment, and instead of being annoyed with me, he knows me..he knows I don´t mean it and I´m just being stupid..instead he loves me for me... so, anyway, I´m just thinking aloud as usual...as the new year comes closer, I find myself thinking about the future and reminding myself of the things that are really important.

Life is like a box of chocolates...

...you never know what you´re gonna get!!! So true...

And those of you who follow politics or indeed just read a newspaper, will know that life isn´t rosy here in Portugal... and from the horses mouth, I can tell you it´s tough. People I know are having cuts made to their salaries, struggling to find a job, and if you don´t have a degree, well you might as well be homeless or live with your parents forever as you won´t find a job that pays enough. Tomás for example, is paid pretty much the minium wage here (just..), which unbelievably is MUCH lower than our minimum wage in the UK. And his job requires long, boring, tedious, hard working hours. :(

And you know, sometimes I sit here and think..what the hell am I doing?? We could be in England, and I could be earning over 24K a year because I´m a "graduate" and that´s my "given" right, having studied for over 5 years...but nope, I´m struggling in the most recession hit country in Europe...and why? Well... all I can say is I just love it here! The way of life..everything.. And at the moment, my life isn´t about money. It´s about experiences. I´m learning a new language for free basically through absorption, I live near the beach, I´m meeting new and interesting people everyday, I´m experiecning a new culture and appreciating life. It would be far too easy to move back to England...and of course I miss my family and friends, but at the moment, I made the decision to come here, so I´ve got to stick at it, through thick and thin-..because the heart wants what the heart wants right? Sometimes we can´t explain why we feel a certain way that we do..and for me...I really love living here..there´s just something about this place...even from the second I landed at the airport in April last year...I just knew...this place was wonderful and I wanted to live here. But of course, I´m not stupid...at some point, I will need to start thinking about a career and saving and make some hard decisions etc.. but until that time comes, I´m making the most of everyday :)

The red or the blue pill?

Well, I didn´t really have a choice, I had to take the "blue pill"... which as the symbology would have us believe is "blissful ignorance" instead of "embracing the painful truth" option with the red pill. Well, if taking the blue pill allows me to "blissfully ignore" my allergy symptoms, then fill me up! Haha. But no, seriously, since I opened the packet of pills the doctor gave me and saw it was blue, it reminded me of many of lifes dichotomies.

I´ve always been told I live in a "black and white" world, with no grey area, and if I were to live in the "grey" area, I´d be alot happier. But I ask myself, how many people live in the "grey area"? According to Freidman and Rosenham (1950) there are only two types of personality, A and B. Type A people are generally high strung, stressed and more likely to have a heart attack, and Type B people are more relaxed and well, the opposite of Type A. But is personality that simple? You´re either one type or another? Should we subscribe to the generalistic thinking that there is only good or bad, pretty or ugly, smart or dumb?

Of course, it´s impossible to try to categorise things into two boxes...things in life are much more complex. But it does challenge the conception that things CAN be so easily categorised. Like when someone makes a judgement of you upon meeting.."oh she´s a bitch".. So, that´s that? Done. In the bitch box she goes. But can that person be wrong? Can we misjudge people? Can people change? Can a bitch exist within an angel?
Either way, these questions make for great discussion... and personally, I´m always spinning around my own mind, wondering who I am. And I guess, figuratively speaking, I´m trying to put myself in a box. But I can´t find the right one... I always seem to be asking myself, am I trying to be a certain "type" of person for myself, or for other people?

And it´s really hard living like this. I´m constantly being bombarded in the media with slogans like... "don´t have regrets", "live your dreams", "life is short" .. blah blah blah... but what is my dream? What am I supposed to do in life? I guess it just boils back down to the red or blue pill... carry on in blissful ignorance, or face the painful truth??